It Simply Is

As a child I was very fortunate to have an adult in my life who taught me, dying is no big deal, it is simply part of life.  Being taught that so young is a big help in the work I do now. 

As I learned dying is part of life I also learned that I could miss the human or animal, be sad and then life went on.  I did not understand then that I was being taught not to let my emotions rule me.  They play a part and are not the whole part.  I began to see when I am emotional it is about me.

I thought that the emotional state was love.  That being upset was how love was.  At some point I began to understand if being emotional was about me then I was forgetting about the other being.  Which led me to see love is about the other being.  It is about allowing the other being to experience what they need.  It is not about me. 

When I am working with animals who are dying they show me they do not understand why their human is upset.  They think they have done something wrong to upset the human.  To them dying is no big deal, it simply is.  To them it is the dying rhythm movement.  The rhythm in the body keeps slowing until it stops and when it stops the body is no longer functional.  They do not understand humans don’t get that. 

Often an animal who is dying will show me to tell their human to put them outside in a quiet place and go away.  Think about this, in the wild when an animal is dying they are either pushed out or they go off on their own find a quiet spot to die. 

I find myself in the middle of the animal way and the human way.  I see both sides while the animal or human only sees theirs.   By creating clarity of each point of view there is a place in the middle for understanding to bloom.  With that understanding things get a lot calmer.  In the calmer place dying simply is. 

The Other Horse

The horses have asked me to start writing about them and since my whole life has centered around them I agreed.

This week in the course of working with a long time client and her horse Mimi, a topic came up.  Often in a situation where there are two older horses, if one horse has to be put down the second horse is also put down.  The reasoning being that horses are a herd animal and being alone is a stressful situation for them.

Mimi has given me permission to tell her story of being the other horse.  Mimi and I have a long association.

Mimi and gelding David, both older horses, were  together for a long time.  In early May 2016 David was diagnosed with an anal tumor that was growing fast and would very soon block him from passing manure.  It was decided to put him down.  The vet’s assistant said that it was common to put the second down at the same time.  I worked with David to prepare him for leaving, he wanted more time and that was fine with his human.  As I worked with David, Mimi was given the opportunity to leave too.  She thought about it and decided she would stay knowing she would be alone.

Mimi’s human had me work with her in the weeks after David left and Mimi made the adjustment to being alone really well.  It did not take her long to realize she liked having all the attention.  It also gave her the opportunity to experience life a different way.  It allowed her to expand into herself and rely on herself.  That is a big step for a horse who is wired to be in a herd.  I am leaning life is about experiences and how we use those experiences.  We can grow, expand or not.  Animal or human.

Here she is in February 2018 still doing fine alone even though she has some health issues.

I shared Mimi’s story in an effort to show that it is possible for a horse to adjust to being alone.  Then it is up to each of you to make your own decisions.  No right or wrong.  Each situation is unique.  I am learning making blanket statements about any topic is not in the best interest.

Thanks Mimi it was great working with you again.