A Lot of Movement

The cat and I had a great 4 day trip across the country arriving in New Mexico on Sun. Nov. 12th.  She turned into “Princess Road Warrior Cat”.  Each night she just took possession of the hotel room.  It was fun to watch her come into her own.  This past month I was busy doing all the things one has to do when you make a big move.  Yesterday 12/11, I received my New Mexico drivers license in the mail, so I am officially here.   I had lived here between Oct. 1999 to Oct. 2003.  I think sometimes you have to leave a place to find out it really was your place.  I am loving being back.

Thank you Georgia for what you had to teach me in the 6 1/2 years I was there.  Now it will be interesting to see what New Mexico has for me especially with the work I do.  I will continue to do the phone work and the rest will unfold.  I am learning to stay out of expectation and allow myself to not to know.  There is freedom in that.

That is it for now we are here safely and all is well.

Now I have to see if I can remember how to use the new Jet Pack I got a couple of weeks ago so I can post this.  Facing a 1200 pound upset horse does not faze me, yet give me a new piece of technology to deal with and I am shaking in my boots.  Plain silly, yet true.

Quality?

It has been awhile.

Lots of shake up and movement going on and all of that has me moving back to New Mexico on Nov. 9th.  The whole process took time and focus to get me to the place where I knew what I had to do, so writing got put on the back burner.  Then this morning a topic that keeps popping up grabbed me and here I am.

I hear over and over from people when I am working with them and their animal the concept  “quality of life” comes up in regard to their animals life.   Very often “quality of life” gets factored into the decision on whether to put an animal down or not.  I have a lot of animals yelling in my head, I am fine!

What is “quality of life”?  Who determines that?  What determines that?  Where did the idea come from?  What does it look like?  I have no clue what the answers are to those questions.  I can, however, tell you animals have no concept of “quality of life”.  From their point of view, if they are breathing they are alive and have life.  They live in the moment.

Recently I worked with a dog who could no longer get up on his own.  His human felt since he had no “quality of life” it was time to put him down.  The dog was very clear he wanted to stay in his body.

This dog had a very strong will and the experience of not being able to get up under his own power was an opportunity to accept help.  It was also an opportunity to learn his will could only do so much which he did not accept for a year.  He was blessed with a human who was able to care for him for a year, giving him the time to work it out with his will.

Just before he died on his own he showed me that his will could only do so much and that there was a bigger movement then his will.  This was a huge growth experience for him.  On the surface he had no “quality of life” yet his lack of mobility was a catalyst for him to figure out his will could only do so much.

This example is an extreme and I used it to demonstrate the concept “quality of life”.  It is not a straight line or black and white.  AND, I am NOT making some point about not putting animals down.  I am simply giving some food for thought about this concept of “quality of life”.

This work I do with animals has totally changed how I view life and it allows me the opportunity to share what I learn.  I share and you get to make up your own mind on what works for you and your animals.  It is so individual to each human and animal combination.  There are no blanket statements or one size fits all.

The adventure continues and it will be very interesting to see what unfolds in New Mexico.  Head em up, move em out!

Irma’s Visit

Irma left us early yesterday morning.  Everyone started breathing again.   I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until she was gone. 

The posts on “Experience” and “Allow”  that I wrote a couple of weeks ago came to life during Irma’s visit.   As the leading edge of her moved in on Monday morning I was given an opportunity to have the experience of bending.  My MO is to stand straight and ridged and do it myself.  By noon I began to see staying in a trailer surrounded by large oak trees was not the best place to be.   My wonderful friends who live across the road had already offered the cat and I stay with them.   I packed some things and the cat and I went across the road.  Why did I think bending was hard?  It felt really good to have company and feel safe. 

As I watched out of the picture window I felt pity for the trees who were being pushed roughly around by the wind and rain of Irma.   I had to stop and remind myself this is their experience.  They were not victims.  Why is it so hard for me to get that my pity is so unwanted.  They were fine.  And what did I think I could do for them?  Bring them inside?  

At 8 A.M. Tuesday morning I went across the road to take care of the ponies and check the trailer.  They and the trailer were fine, a relief.  That is when I noticed one of the large oak trees was down.   It was on the west side of the trailer and had fallen away from the trailer.  I walked to the tree, not only was it down but trees in it’s path were down too.  I really had to rein my emotions in and go to the allowing place.  The tree was glad I did that.  The tree showed me it was ok and that dying was a slow process.  In that process it had time to come to the realization that being rigid and not able to bend is what brought it down.  It showed me this was a huge lesson it was learning.  This was part of it’s inner growth and expansion.  It is life.  Dying is the greatest opportunity to evolve, expand. 

I told a friend in Colorado about the tree and she asked me for pictures.  Immediately the tree asked me not do this, it needed privacy.  I honored the request.  Dying is a very private time.

Irma brought a lot of experiences to process.   A big one is gratitude, not taking anything for granted.  Seeing the Divine at work in everything.   I am blessed beyond measure. 

Middle of Night Shakes

Last night I woke up at 3 A.M.  my mind filled with fear.  My fear was about Hurricane Irma and her visiting here.  I decided to stop using the word hit, visit is less ominous.  I realized my attitude of fear was affecting me and the animals in my care.  I was not being a strong leader for them.

Fear wants to control.  It wants to dictate and have things be it’s way.  The fear did not like the idea that it could not control being touched by Irma.  I began to see this as a lesson in surrender to the higher.  The higher attitude is; be aware of what is going on, take actions to prepare and keep my attitude accepting of what is.  When I did these things I felt calmer and I could see the animals were calmer.

As things happen I am learning to ask what does this have to teach me?  Rather then get caught up in the fear and drama.  What is there to learn about seeing things from a different point of view then I normally do.  Being aware how I am and how it affects everything around me.  If I get on the doom and gloom kick and place a lot of negative attention on Irma then I am contributing to the disturbance of her.  I am connected to everything around me.  Being higher or lower ripples out and it especially ripples out to the animals.   They do not understand my upset, all they know is the human is upset and they think they did something wrong.

There are people and animals facing much worse south of here, so I told my fear to get over itself.

What a time to be on Earth.  I am being given the opportunity to be more then I ever thought I could be. There are bumps and the bumps are gifts to evolve and grow.  Wow.

Labor Day

For me Labor Day is the end of summer which means the end of the lovely long hot days.  I am a heat and sunlight girl. 

Out of the blue this morning I started thinking about what Labor Day celebrates.  Labor!  On the heels of this came the realization, everything I use and have was created by someone else’s labor.  Everything!  Just blew me away.  It sounds really stupid that I never really stopped to think how the things I use got here. 

I started to imagine the thousands and thousands of people using their labor to make all the things in my life.   Then is broadened to all the people in service jobs, whose labor also contributes to my ease of life.  Truck drivers, waitresses, check out people, nurses, tech people, pilots, the list is huge. 

I am awe struck and it is a humbling moment.  Without all of them I can’t do my job.  That puts it is a certain perspective. 

I want to thank everyone out there for their labor.  Your labor makes my life doable, comfortable and allows me to do my  job. 

Thank you and bless you all.   Happy Labor Day!

Just Checking

The Universe does check on me.   I wrote about Experience and Allowing recently and I was given a test a couple of days ago.

I was sitting on the porch at the barn with the three barn cats.  Two were on the grass just off the porch and the third was at my feet demanding to be scratched.  Being a good slave I was doing my best to meet his demand.   We were enjoying the moment then suddenly a baby bird came out of it’s nest on the branch in front of the porch.  It tried to fly and it landed just behind the Gator and hopped under it.  The cat sprang into action in a flash.   The cat was under the Gator, grabbed the baby bird and raced into the barn before I was all the way out of the chair. 

As I ran to the barn door ready to intervene, I stopped.  I realized trying to get the baby bird from the cat was not what I needed to do.  My to do was to do nothing, really hard to stand aside and allow another being to have it’s experience.  It was a very dramatic scenario the Universe sent me.  That part of me that was taught to care for and defend had a tough time with allowing.  It was quite a range of emotions that went through me.

It was over instantly.  I heard a faint “I’m OK”, then everything was very still.  In spite of my upset there was a feeling of peace around me and that all was right and perfect.  I had to get over myself.  Who do I think I am to question another’s path.  The animals show me over and over that there are no accidents and that everything that happens is fine.  They do not need or want my pity or upset so I went and sat back down and simply got quiet.  Letting it all just be, allowing myself to be a being not a doing.  We are not called human doings, we are human beings.  I forget that.

The baby bird was fine, the cat was a cat and I got to be.  The Universe was just checking to see if I really got it.  Slowly, yes I am.  Thanks Universe. 

Allow

In my last post I wrote about everything in our lives is an experience, humans and animals alike.

For me the question came up, if I am to honor my animal’s experience what do I have to do?  What is the action or non-action?   The answer is allow.  I have to be willing to allow my animal to have their experience.   What does that look like?

For the past two years I have been working with Rick and his old, not well, dog Merlin.   It was a series of ups and downs and in the process Rick wanted very much to do what was best for Merlin.  At times the question of euthanasia came up.  Each time Merlin was very clear he wanted to be here and Rick got it.  There was a lot of care and management involved and what I saw was allowing.  Rick would stand back and allow Merlin to be with the condition of his body, allowing him to have the experience of the condition of his body.  I was in awe of the amount of care Rick was willing to give for two years and the whole time staying in allowing and at times it was not pretty, yet Rick stuck with it.

For the past six months it was a slow steady spiral of Merlin moving in the direction of dying.  Rick had some tough moments watching Merlin’s process and he was steadfast in allowing Merlin his experience.  In allowing we stand back and do not let our emotions take hold.  Allowing is a calm place, and not always comfortable.

A few days ago Rick called to check in with Merlin to make sure Merlin still wanted to leave in his own rhythm.  The answer was yes.  Although it was hard to watch, on one level, Rick said the feeling was very peaceful.  Merlin was gone in 24 hours.  This was Rick’s first experience of allowing an animal to leave on their own.  He said it was an amazing experience and the time with Merlin was precious.  No regrets.  He said it expanded his view of life, giving him deeper awareness of life and how precious it is, and not to waste one second of it.

I am learning allowing is love, as I have to step outside of my emotions, it does not matter what I think or believe.  It is about the other beings experience.

Thank you Rick and Merlin for letting me to be a part of your experience, an opportunity for me to learn more about allowing.  My hat is off to you.

Experience

Everything we do in a day is an experience.  Simple things like washing our face, drinking coffee, sitting down, getting up, all are experiences we don’t even notice.  When was the last time you really experienced getting up out of a chair?   Were you really present to all the actions  your body took  to allow you to get up out of the chair?    I can’t answer for you and for myself, nope, no awareness at all of taking that action with my body.  Totally automatic pilot.

We have hundreds/thousands of experiences everyday.   Why do I bring this up, what is the point?  Our animals.

As adult humans we are in charge of our experiences.  We are making choices all day as to what we are doing or experiencing.  Not so for animals.  Their lives are lived in a boundary that we create.  What they eat, when they go outside, where they sleep, etc., and there is nothing wrong with that.  If they are living with a human they chose that way of living or that way of experiencing life.  I want it very clear no one is a victim here.  Nothing happens to anyone without their permission on the higher level.

Everyday life works fine until we reach a day where the animal is old or the animal is very sick.  We are in a position to make choices and those choices will affect their experience.  With an old animal if we choose to put them down, so they don’t suffer old age, we have taken away their opportunity to experience old age fully.  With a very sick animal the same applies.  If we put them down we cut short their experience.

This is really tricky ground here.  We have our point of view and animals have their point of view of life and they are very different.  All the time when I am working with an animal and their human I see the differences in their points of view.  The human will be upset thinking their animal is suffering and the animal will be what is the big deal with the human?  I’m ok.

My point in bringing this topic up is; our experiences are how we grow, expand and evolve.  My most difficult  experiences were when I grew the most.  It took me outside of what I knew and showed me something more about myself.

There is no right or wrong here.  The animals nudged me to bring this up so their humans could step back and take a bigger look.  No quilt, finger pointing, simply take a look.  With what the animals have taught me I no longer see life so black and white.  Many shades of grey in between.  I am very grateful for that.

Happy 4th

Has been awhile.

On this day of celebrating our Independence, I want to take a moment to give thanks to those who brought us to Independence and the sacrifices they made to achieve independence.

My question to myself is where could I do more to achieve inner independence.  To liberate the quiet voice inside me that really knows everything.  It is hard to hear the quiet voice when the loud voice is so noisy, thinks it knows everything and just does not shut up. 

It is the quiet voice that can help us when something is wrong with an animal.  It is the loud often emotional voice that keeps us from the knowing of the quiet voice.  My silence for the last months on the blog is that I have been working on getting quiet.  Of becoming more aware of the noisy voice and taking a moment to get quiet.  When I get quiet everything around me quiets down. 

I just realized that is what I do when I am working with a horse.  I learned a long time ago being upset and agitated when doing something with a horse gets you in trouble fast and often hurt.  Horses take a quiet steady hand and I know how to do that.  Now I can take that and bring it into other areas.  Simple. 

You can trust those quiet little nudges you get when there is a problem with your animal.  Often when I am working with someone and their animal and I tell the person what their animal showed me they will say I felt that and did not trust it. 

On this day of Independence take a moment and thank your quiet voice.  It is always there for us.  We just have to get quiet enough to listen. 

Lesson of a Mama Cow ll

You just have to love the Universe’s sense of humor. 

Being an older human I like printed copies of my posts.  So after I sent my post off into cyber space yesterday I went to make a printed copy.  Since I had written about patience the Universe smiled and gave me a little test.

About a third of the page was printed when the printer stopped. The on button was flashing and the printer made a beeping sound.  In my limited way with these things I did something, then another something, still no printing. 

In the middle of this the four legged being I live with decided she required my full attention with her piercing voice.  I tried to ignore her.  She was not to be denied.  My printer and computer were not talking.  Me, no patience in sight. 

As I was about to boil over, I looked at myself and I started laughing.  The whole event was perfectly orchestrated to give me the opportunity for me to see my lack of patience works against me.  I thought about the mama cow and realized patience is possible. 

With my improved attitude I put the demanding one on my lap, turned the printer off, unplugged it from the computer and started over.  It is amazing what a change of attitude makes, as my printer then gave me three copies of the post.

Give me animals anytime.  Thanks mama cow for being a wonderful role model.